Saturday, May 7, 2011

Dying

When someone comes out and tells you they are dying and they don't give a damn about life anymore, it makes you wonder: why the hell are you even telling me then if you truly don't care anymore? How can you say something like that to someone and then give no other details? I am obviously not the most stable person on earth, but at least I don't screw around with people like that. That is the worse thing you can possibly do to someone who gives a damn about you. Why even tell me then? Why not just go off and die then and not ever tell anyone why? It seems to me you DO still care and you are just looking to make everyone else feel as miserable as you do because of your cancer diagnosis. Well you know what, that's very fucked up.

We've all been sick, some of us more severely than others, but in the times when I was ill at least I had the decency to tell my friends what i was sick from. At least then they were in the loop as far as what was going on. I never screamed fire in a theater, then didn't stick around to show them where the smoke was coming from. That's the most screwed up thing you can do. How dare you pull a guilt trip like that on me, then expect for me NOT to ask about what's going on.

If you want to run off somewhere and die alone, there is nothing I can do to stop that. Luckily some of us have a choice on how we want to die. Others do not. I suppose those of us who can choose our demise should die the way we want to. If you want to die alone and bitter at life just because you got cancer, then go ahead. If you want to hide it all from us, then fine. If you want to be forgotten and not leave some sort of legacy, it's your choice.

You want all that? Fine. Then go die. You want to push everyone away? Fine, go die. At least when i go I can say that I tried until I couldn't try anymore. I can look at my life and say that I left my mark. Whether people appreciate it or not, only time will tell. You on the other hand, if you think this is the way to go, obviously nothing I say will change your mind so go on and do it.

Go Die.





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