Watermark

I was walking through a neighborhood, not exactly sure where I was. It felt like an a street I used to travel quite a bit but has since changed in my memory into something else. I found myself moving from house to house, almost skipping my way across yards and sidewalks. At one point I may have been hurdling lawn ornaments. I felt a weight on my chest, but couldn't make out its meaning. I found myself at an organized movie night at some one house. I did not recognize the male owner.

A woman came over and stood next to me and asked if I wanted to stay or leave. I ended up leaving with her and we walked down the street holding hands. We strolled for what seemed like about 30 minutes till we got to a building with a corner entrance. At first she said I may not be able to go in with her so I waited outside as she went in. As i waited, I kept trying to figure out who she was and what this was about. I soon became self aware that I was dreaming.

After about 10 minutes, the door opened and a doorman told me I was able to come in and join her if i wanted. I walked inside to see her sitting at a desk. She was slouching a bit and suddenly her clothing seemed to big for her. She stared at me as I walked over to join her. I pulled up a chair and sat next to her as she adjusted in her seat. We stared at each other for a bit, till she said she didn't want to sit at the desk anymore and wanted to move to the couch. She got up and I followed her deeper into the building till we reached a couch. She sat down and grabbed my hand, pulling me down next to her. She curled up into a ball for a moment, then stretched her legs out so that they rested on my lap. She took my hands and placed them on her legs. Looking into my eyes she then asked "Why are you different? What makes you any different than me?"

I paused for a moment, then proceeded to run my hands over her legs to her amusement. She closed her eyes and allowed me to continue caressing her light, smooth skin. Her shirt, still way too big for her began sliding off her shoulders as she adjusted to get comfortable on the couch. It was here when I noticed she had curly blond locks of hair, about shoulder length, green eyes, and soft pouty lips.

After a glaring flash of light, she and I were in a pool. She was still wearing her over sized shirt, but it somehow remained dry as we moved through the calm water. We held each others arms at the wrist and guided each other from each side of the pool to the other. As we kept this up she once again asked "What makes you different than me?Why am I better than you?"

I moved her to one side of the pool, lifting her up by the waste and sitting her on the edge, allowing her legs to dangle into the pool. I moved closer to her and our eyes met. "I am an abuse survivor", I said without flinching. I then went on to tell her of my ordeal and what happened to me. We slowly existed the pool area and were soon walking through a garden, once again holding hands. I went on to tell her that it has seemingly become part of who I am. No matter how much therapy i go to or what kinds of medications I take, that part of my life will never be erased. Regardless of what story I tell, it seems to always somehow come out.

We continued walking as she absorbed my story, her hand clutching mine a little tighter. We came to a small opening within the garden where a large tree had grown. We both made our way to the tree and sat down under it, allowing its branches to shade us from some of the moonlight. We laid our heads back on the soft grass and looked up to the dark, star-filled sky. Several meteors could be seen flashing by as the night went on.

...then I woke up

I don't know who that woman in the dream was. Her face was not recognizable and her presence didn't stir any real emotion within me. I did feel somewhat comfortable with her though, as if I had known her for a long time, but never really felt any sort of attachment.